It's Not Cancer. Yea!

Thank you everyone for your prayers for my sweetie.  BUT I just got a call a few minutes ago from Izzie's neurologist.  The tumor under her tongue is benign.  I feel sooo relieved.  It's a good reminder that our eyes can sometimes mislead us and jumping to conclusions before the data are in is never good.  I'm grateful though for all of your wonderful concern.

Today Izzie was rebelling against my picking her up to get on and off the couch.  If I say "mommy help" she runs away from me as fast as she can go.  She has also decided to sit on the back cushions of the sofa.  Something she hasn't done in years.  Her back leg still doesn't function well though.

My friend David, from California, suggested that I give her Vitamin D-3 and for the last two days, I've given her some.  It can only help.  David's friend, who is developing Alzheimer's, accidently took 5 x 5000 IU of D-3 a few weeks ago and her ability to do complex tasks improved dramatically and quickly.  She normally takes 5 x 400 IU a day.  This led us to doing some research on the web as to the safety of such a large dose.  25,000 IU is still well within the safe amount, if not taken at that level every day.  Anyway, it's good for bones and muscles so David and I decided that Izzie should start taking 5000 IU to see if it would improve her back since we didn't think surgery would be an option.  I will continue her on it until she goes in on Friday morning.

Again, thank you all for your prayers for both of us.

Robert Whalley's "Poem for Monday"

My friend Robert Whalley (from All Saints' San Francisco and Berkeley days) now from Australia, will be ordained to the transitional diaconate in less than 15 days.  Bob is a wonderful, gentle soul and has spent a good part of his life as a college chaplain.  He writes beautifully and this poem from his blog, called Poem for Monday really spoke to me.  It seems I needed to hear the words of "stretching into the present."  Izzie's cancer has me off-balance and living in today is so important to get through this.

Poem for Monday
We don’t have to have a past today
Could simply follow the sun like certain plants
Face the light, turn to what is bright and warming; or, conversely,
Like a more delicate potted plant, move into the softer shade for the filtered light
Humankind cannot bear very much reality, nor should many other growing things.

Find the place that suits for this morning,
the ecology that supports enough growth,
(the life of significant soil), between reseeding (receding) and bloom.
But not being caught, rooted too deeply, in either of those beds.

Instead, stretch into the present like cats do, relaxing and
Letting the spine of the moment open like a shy smile,
An intake of breath, an increased delight, a touch of dancing
While you silently stay exactly where you are.

And all that carried history and expectation,
Heavy potential and the weight of undone deeds
Unfinished stories and long-dead parents and people
We never liked all that much; make it compost, treat it like dung.

To be left behind, discarded in a pile to decay, mulch,
To ripen into something that can feed new
Unthinkable, unspeakable growth that may
Bloom into possibilities in another spring


photo from Wikipedia.

My Isabelle

As Izzie has posted on her own blog, she has had a difficult time recently.  Over the last few days she really struggled going up stairs and got half way down and wouldn't move any further.  So I carried her down.  Then she whimpered whenever I picked her up.  We've been sleeping on the futon in the study since Sunday evening. I increased the medication she was taking for joint pain and swelling to the original dose, and although it helps, wasn't doing the trick.  I also noticed that her left rear leg would splay out when I set her on the ground.  But, once she got herself steady, she seemed to walk ok, if stiffly.

Yesterday she saw her vet again.  The vet thinks that a disk in her back is causing the problem.  She had an x-ray taken of her spine while we were still in Rangeley, and although at the time it wasn't really obvious, the vet here said she saw that one of the disks was not like the others.  She warned me that Izzie could get paralyzed if it broke.  Our vet thinks it's early enough to do something about it and give Izzie a few more good years. Izzie is now off her NSAID and on pain killers (she will probably need diagnostic procedures like an angiogram) and has an appointment this morning with a specialist.

Please pray for her and for me.  Izzie has been my partner in ministry.  She breaks the ice in a new parish and keeps vestries from taking themselves too seriously.  If people go on and on, she lets out a VERY loud snore which always gets a laugh.  She has also been known to snore in the middle of my sermons.  Which keeps me from taking myself too seriously.

I will update the blog when we (I) return from Scarborough.  When I posted this, the ad on the side was for "herniated discs."  Weird!

UPDATE: 2 pm (Thursday, 19 November) I just returned from the vet and the news is not good. Even though the disk is quite repairable and Izzie would likely come through that just fine, they discovered a tumor behind her tongue. The vet said it looked like squamous cell carcinoma, although a biopsy is needed to be sure. The vet said she would hate to do surgery on a dog that might live just 6 months or so and I agree. I will pick her up in the morning and she will get medication for pain for her spine and other meds and I will just wait and watch. I'm devastated and need to rest a bit.

UPDATE: 4 pm (Friday November 20)  Izzie is snoozing on the couch. She's on pretty strong pain meds. I am not to let her jump on furniture or go up and down stairs for the next four or five days and she has to be confined when I'm not around.  The only procedure she had was the injection of contrast media to look at her spine and a biopsy of the tumor.  They found the tumor when they were prepping her for surgery.  She seems to be her stoic, cheerful self, although very sleepy.  She shared my lunch (bits of turkey and ham from a chef's salad and ate a few treats when we got home.  She'll be on soft food for a while (a bit cheer from Izzie, since she detests kibble anyway).  I've decided to pamper her (even more) for as long as I can.  When she gets to the point where she can't eat properly or her back legs really go, then I'll have her put down.  I pray that is months off.

Bad Nativities

Already frustrated by the Christmas decorations going up. Take a look at Going Jesus. It's not new, but now that the stores have the Christmas stuff going full bore, I think we all need to be prepared to  have our aesthetic senses refined. The post is called: It Came Upon a Midnight Weird: Cavalcade of Bad Nativities 2007,   I rather like the rubber duckies, myself.  The angel is kinda cute.

No Gay Marriage in Maine, Alas

I am really upset that Maine did not reject Question 1 and allow marriage for all couples, GLBT or straight.  I've shed a few tears this morning in anger and frustration.  I've looked up the voting statistics in the various counties and I do believe what people have told me is basically true.  There are two Maines.  The only two big(ish) cities, Portland and Bangor voted No, while rural Mainers tended to vote Yes.  Although the town I live in voted NO, the county did not, although the county vote was nearly 50/50.  In addition, the Roman Catholic church still has considerable influence in spite of progressive groups that don't hesitate to question their authority. I am truly sorry for all gay and lesbian Mainers who wanted the choice of marriage for themselves and their families.  I am truly sorry that an opportunity was lost to show the rest of the country what "justice for all" really means.

All Souls Day

I'm reading a mathematics book called "Does God Play Dice" by Ian Stewart. It's not a new book, although I have the second edition, but like most people I tend to throw around the term "chaos theory" without really knowing what it entails and this book is about the mathematics of chaos. I'm trying to do something about my limited understanding. There's something very intriguing about the idea about the underlying order in chaos and the chaos in things that seem quite orderly. This loving and wonderful God whom I believe created all there is made a most amazing universe. I know there's a sermon in here somewhere. But for the moment I need to put the book aside and work on other things.

There is something very solemn for me about this day. All of my mother's generation has passed away (she was the youngest of her family and the last to go) and even though it's been over ten years, I do miss her. She wasn't the easiest mother to get along with, especially when she was depressed, but she did have a good sense of humor, was a great cook and until toward the end, up for adventure.

I'm listening to the Tallis Scholars singing Byrd's The Great Service. It has the right tone for me today to help me while I spend some time working on a paper. You Tube doesn't seem to have any of the wonderful music from the this album which contains:

1. Venite
2. Te Deum
3. Benedictus
4. Creed
5. Magnificat
6. Nunc dimittis
7. O Lord, make Thy servant Elizabeth
8. O God, the proud are risen
9. Sing joyfully unto God

However, I did find this glorious piece: Vigilate (Keep watch) which also seems appropriate. It was recorded at Tewekesbury Abbey.

We Will Be Sure Your Money Feeds Non-Gay Famine Victims?

This is from The Onion. Just discovered their site and love it.

Christian Charity Raising Money To Feed Non-Gay Famine Victims

Who Are We?

Linda Clader posted this on Facebook and I liked it enough to grab it. It's really worth repeating here and lots of places. We are hope.